


'Can I Stay?'

by m_s_b



Series: Raven and Badger (Potterlock) [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 2000 AU, 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 03:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1372264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_s_b/pseuds/m_s_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Second Year

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of my first 5+1 fanfic.
> 
> The boys have been friends for almost two years now. Jim is the second year Ravenclaw, Seb - the fourth year Hufflepuff.

Sebastian stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes. He was lying on his back in his four-poster; in the dark he could see the stone ceiling of his dormitory. Staring at it, Seb wondered what woke him up. Maybe one of the boys was talking in his sleep or had a nightmare? He listened carefully, but all he could hear were the deep breaths of his room-mates. Seb sighed; maybe he was just imagining things?

Trying to fall asleep again, the blond turned on his side, when his toes brushed against something sitting on his bed. Surprised, he raised his head.

_Jimmy?_

Sitting at the foot of Sebastian’s bed in his pyjamas - an oversized T-shirt and shorts - was Jim. His thin arms were hugging the boney knees and even in the dark Seb could see the unruly head of Rodia pressed against Jim’s chest. The smaller boy looked up and smiled shyly.

‘Hi Sebby.’

_What are you doing here?_ the blond asked, yawning. James didn’t answer, just stared at the other boy, his big eyes shining in the darkness.  _Why you didn’t wake me up?_

No reply. Sebastian looked at Jim, wondering how a thirteen-year-old boy could be as small as the youngest first years. With a heavy sigh, the blond threw away the covers.

_Come here._

Holding Rodia tightly, James crawled to the head of the bed and slid under covers, snuggling up to Seb; he was shivering slightly.

_What happened?_ Sebastian closed his arms around his friend.

‘Nothing,’ Jim whispered very quietly, pressing his face to Seb’s neck. The blond sighed.

_If you want to tell me anything,_ he ran his hand up and down Jimmy’s back, feeling under his fingers the bumps of the smaller boy’s spine, _you know I’m always here to listen._

‘I know.’

 

 


	2. The Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year later...

The fifth year Hufflepuff dormitory was really quiet that Friday night. Matt went to Manchester to visit his parents, Garth sneaked out for his date with Hope, Wayne was sleeping peacefully in his bed and Seb, well, Seb was reading.

He was so engrossed in the plot that he didn’t hear Garth returning at half past eleven; he didn’t even hear the door creaking open an hour later. It was only when one of the curtains surrounding his four-poster was pulled a bit, did Sebastian notice that someone was in the room. He looked up from his book and saw Jim standing next to his bed.

The thirteen-year-old wore his school blazer over his pyjamas, black Ravenclaw raven staring at Seb from the house badge. But Sebastian’s eyes were fixed on James’ pale, wet with tears face.

 _Jimmy,_ he mumbled, tossing the book aside, _what’s wrong?_

Instead of answering, Jim climbed on the bed and hugged the blond, putting his chin on the other boy’s shoulder.

 _Hey,_ Seb delicately stroked James’ back, _why are you crying, little Jimmy? What happened?_

‘My room-mates,’ Jim finally choked out, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Seb felt anger boiling in his veins.

 _What did these fuckers do this time?_ he spat through his teeth, hugging the smaller boy tighter.

James only sobbed quietly.

 _Shhh, Jimmy,_ Sebastian kissed Jim’s temple, _I swear to God,_ he added, _I’m going to hex all those little twats. And I don’t care how many detentions they’ll give me for that. I told them to leave you alone._

‘S-Sebby...’

 _It’s fine. Now, you’re going to stay with me tonight, okay?_ the smaller boy nodded, _Great. Get under the covers, I don’t want you to catch a cold,_ Seb pulled the curtain closed.

They cuddled in the bed together; Jim’s chin on Sebastian’s shoulder, Seb’s cheek pressed to the crown of James’ head, their legs tangled, their fingers intertwined.

 _I’m glad you told me,_ Seb mumbled sleepily, burying his nose in jet black hair.

‘I know.’

 

 


	3. The Fifth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is about to graduate from Hogwarts. Jim has a really difficult time dealing with it.

Sebastian was lying on his back in his four-poster, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, not after this terrible fight he had had with Jim this afternoon. They threw angry words at each other like curses and hexes, hurting, itching. Seb knew that Jimmy had a really difficult time with accepting the fact that Sebastian was graduating, but it didn’t justify his behaviour. Or those horrible, horrible words the smaller boy spat at him. Seb tried to be patient, he really did, but this time it was just too much. The blond sighed heavily and put his arms under his head.

He wasn’t surprised when the air fluttered and the mattress dipped with a sudden weight. Seb didn’t even moved, his eyes still fixed on the stone ceiling. The mattress shifted as something wormed its way to Sebastian’s bed and soon a dark mass of dishevelled hair appeared next to the blond.

_How can I make you not hate me?_ Seb asked, not looking at his friend.

Jim snuggled up closer, hugged Sebastian and let out a shaky sob.

_Please, let me… Let me do something._

‘Don’t forget about me,’ James whispered so quietly that if it wasn’t for soft lips moving against his skin, Seb would miss it, ‘Promise you won’t forget about me.’

_How could I forget about you?_ Sebastian ran his hand through Jim’s hair.

‘You’ll meet new people...’ the smaller boy mumbled.

_So what?_ Seb broke the embrace and looked at his friend, _No-one can replace you._

‘You say that now,’ Jim replied, ‘You’ll meet people like you-’

_Like me?_ Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise.

‘-boys, girls,’ Jim continued, not paying attention to Seb’s remark, ‘Smarter, older than me...’

_Smarter than you? Don’t be ridiculous,_ Sebastian smiled, but the expression on Jim’s face wiped the smile away from his face. The blond sighed heavily. _Jim, it’s just… a thing I know. These two years, it’s nothing..._

‘It’s an awfully long time,’ Jimmy whined.

_I will be seeing you. It’s not like two years of separation,_ the blond smiled slightly and added, _Jim, just trust me on this one, okay?_ he stroked Jim’s cheek, _Even if I meet new people and have some fun, it won’t mean you’ll stop being my best friend,_ he said softly, feeling as if he was explaining something obvious to a small child, not to a sixteen-year old. James must have felt the same.

‘I’m silly,’ he sniffled, ‘I’m sorry.’

_It’s okay,_ Sebastian hugged him tightly.

‘I didn’t mean that, Sebby,’ Jim mumbled after a short pause.

_Didn’t mean what? Doubting my friendship?_ the blond sighed and hugged Jim tighter, _Forget it, Jimmy. I know it’s difficult to you..._

‘Telling you that I hate you,’ came the really quiet reply.

_I know…_ Seb kissed the top of James’ head, _But it hurts to hear it._

‘I’m sorry...’

_No, I’m sorry, Jimmy. I didn’t mean to be a douche._

They laid quietly for a moment, Jim’s face pressed to Seb’s neck, Sebastian’s hands soothingly stroking James’ hair, playing with loose strands.

‘Can I stay?’ a shy question broke the silence.

_Of course you can._

 

 


	4. The Tenth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After graduating from Hogwarts, Jim started to work as an experimental potioneer. Seb finished his healer training (he specialises in traditional healing magic of Far and Middle East) and moved in with his friend.

Jim turned on his side and hissed with pain. His stupid arm was hurting and itching, driving him up the wall. How was he supposed to get some sleep in such circumstances? Jim sighed heavily and slowly, not to make his arm worse, he sat up. He looked around the room, thinking what he should do. He was sure they had some sleeping potions in their cabinet, but Sebastian would be furious if he found out that Jim took Sleeping Draught behind his back. After a moment of hesitation, James scrambled on his feet and, holding his arm awkwardly, padded through the dark hall right to Sebastian’s room.

‘Sebby?’ he whispered, sliding into the room and stopping by the blond’s bed.

 _What?_ Seb growled. He was lying with his back to the door.

‘My arm is hurting,’ Jim continued.

 _As it should,_ the blond replied dryly; he didn’t even turn to look at his friend. Jim winced; Sebastian was still angry with him. When that afternoon Seb noticed a deep burn on his friend’s forearm, he cleaned and bandaged it, yelling at him for being stupid and irresponsible, before breaking into tears. Staring at the blond’s back, James remembered Seb’s boggart and felt even worse.

‘I can’t sleep because of it so I thought that maybe you could give me some Sleeping Draught or-’

 _No,_ Seb looked at him over his shoulder, _I’m not going to give you any. You know my opinion about all those sleeping potions._

‘But I can’t sleep because it hurts-’ Jim whined.

 _Then at least we know it’s healing,_ Sebastian spat, furrowing his brows, _And I didn’t hear you complaining when that experimental potion BURNED THROUGH YOUR SKIN._

Slowly, James sat next to Seb on the bed, putting his hands on his lap.

‘I’m sorry, Sebby,’ he whispered tearfully, ‘I know I behaved like an idiot,’ Seb snorted, ‘But my arm really hurts and I know you think I deserve it, but-’

 _I don’t think you deserve it,_ Sebastian interrupted. He finally turned on his side and looked at the smaller man.

‘But-’

 _Come here,_ Seb patted the bed. Holding his injured arm a bit stiffly, Jim slid under the covers. Sebastian put his arms around James’ waist and pulled him closer so the smaller man’s back was pressed to his chest.

 _I can’t give you anything for a good night sleep,_ the blond mumbled against the nape of Jim’s neck, _but maybe this will help,_ he put his chin on the other man’s shoulder.

James sighed quietly. The warmth radiating from Sebastian’s body was making him feel relaxed. His arm was still itching, but it didn’t seem to bother him that much. Seb’s breath tingling the skin on his neck, Jim closed his eyes and, before he noticed, he fell asleep.


	5. The Seventeenth Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few years after graduating from Hogwarts, Jim was offered a position of school's Potions Master: he would work for one year as a substitute teacher. Encouraged by Seb, he accepted the offer. The Job, however, turned out to be more demanding than both of them expected.

_Jimmy?_ Sebastian stopped at the entrance to the living room, rubbing his eyes, _What are you still doing here?_

James glanced at him over the pile of rolled parchments; his eyes were big and tired.

‘I’m checking those essays,’ even his voice was tired.

_Can’t you do that tomorrow? Or during the weekend?_

‘I can’t,’ the smaller man shook his head, ‘I have so many things to do, these,’ he gestured at the rolls, ‘are the first on my ‘to-do’ list and-’

_But you don’t need them for tomorrow, right?_

‘No...’ Jim hesitated, ‘but I have to finish checking them today-’

 _Not for tomorrow,_ Seb interrupted him; with his hands on his hips and stern look in his eyes, he didn’t look sleepy anymore, _so leave it and get some sleep._

‘But-’ James protested weakly.

 _James, I’m really considering petrifying you before putting you to bed, just to make sure that you get some rest_ , Sebastian tapped his foot, _Now, leave these essays and march to bed._

Sighing heavily, Jim climbed on his feet; there was no point in arguing with Sebastian when he was in his overprotective mode. He walked past the blond and headed to his room, when Seb’s hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks.

 _Oh no, mister. You’re sleeping with me tonight,_ Sebastian steered him to his room.

‘But Sebby-’ Jim protested, but his friend didn’t let him finish.

 _I know what you’re planning, Jim,_ the blond stated simply, _The moment I fall asleep, you’ll return to these blasted essays. I know you too bloody well. Hop in._

Mumbling to himself, Jim slid under the covers. The mattress dipped as Sebastian followed him immediately, sneaking his arms around the smaller man’s waist and pulling him closer to his chest.

 _You overwork yourself, Jimmy,_ the blond mumbled, pressing his chin to Jim’s shoulder, _You’re so tired, so pale… Your cheeks are getting hollow…_ he tightened his grip around the other man’s waist, _We’ll go to my parents’ place for the weekend-_

‘But I have all those home assignments to check,’ James said quickly, ‘and I hoped-’

 _Don’t think about that,_ Seb nuzzled Jim’s neck, _I’ll help you with it._

‘Really?’

_Sure, it’s fun,_ the blond nodded, _I snort every time I remember that kid who wrote ‘armadildo’ every time he meant ‘armadillo’. Now,_ he pecked Jim’s cheek clumsily, _sleep._


	6. Sebastian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes falling asleep proves to be the most difficult thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Sebastian saw his boggart last time, it was a shapeless cloud of pearl-white mist; apparently, his fears were too abstract even for a boggart. His biggest mistake was that he didn't notice when something shifted in his mind, changing the whole structure. 
> 
> Facing his own fears in the real world proved to be too much for Sebastian.

Sniffling, Sebastian padded through the dark stone hall. He delicately pushed the door to Jim’s room open. The room was dark but Seb knew that James wasn’t asleep. He walked slowly to the bed and looked down; brown eyes were staring at him, open-wide and shining. Without a word, Seb slid under the blanket and hugged James tightly, putting his head under the other man’s chin.

Jim’s bed wasn’t big; it could barely contain both of them, but Sebastian didn’t care. He couldn’t sleep by himself tonight. Only now, pressed against James’ warm _(Alive,_ he thought) body, Seb felt how terribly he was shaking. Jim’s small delicate hands closed around him as the smaller man hugged him back.

‘Shh, Sebby,’ James whispered into his ear, stroking his hair delicately, ‘It was just a stupid boggart. I’m here, safe and sound. Sebby, please...’ he kissed the blond’s forehead.

Seb swallowed loudly.

 _E-Every time I close my e-eyes, I see that… b-b-boggart…_ (Jim lying on the floor in the pool of blood; dark hair mixed with crimson spread around his head like some sort of horribly twisted version of halo; big brown eyes opened wide and staring ahead, so empty and _dead)_ _I-I feel like d-dying myself,_ he choked out.

Jim tightened his hug.

‘Sebby, I’m here,’ he said quietly, his voice strained, ‘Don’t think about that, focus on me.’

The blond mewled miserably.

‘Look,’ Jim took Sebastian’s hand and pressed it to his chest, just over his heart, ‘My heart beats. Can you feel it, Sebby? I’m okay.’

Seb pressed his face to James’ neck, babbling something incoherently. Delicately, he took Jim’s hand into his. His fingers travelled up, pressing against the skin on the inner wrist and grabbing the forearm tightly, as if checking for pulse. He didn’t let go.

‘Try to think about something else, love,’ Jim said softly.

 _I c-c-can’t,_ Seb’s breathing was getting faster and faster.

‘Calm down, Sebby,’ James put his hand on Sebastian’s cheek, stroking it delicately, ‘Breathe with me, okay? Breathe in,’ Jim took a deep breath, ‘Breathe out,’ he let the air out through his nose.

The blond followed his friend, taking a few deep, calming breaths.

 _O-Okay,_ he said finally, _I-I’m fine._

‘Good,’ Jim kissed Seb’s sweaty forehead, ‘What can I do to make you feel better?’ he asked, his lips brushing delicately against the blond’s skin.

 _Can I sleep here with you tonight?_ Sebastian looked at his friend pleadingly.

Jim nodded and moved a bit so Seb could lie more comfortably. The blond snuggled up against his friend and hugged him tightly.

 _Can you… stroke my back a little?_  he asked in little voice.

Without a word, Jim delicately stroked Seb’s back. It was heartbreaking, seeing his friend like this. The image of Sebastian kneeling next to his bloodied body, completely broken was still in front of his eyes, almost as if it seared itself in his brain. Seeing himself dead was shocking and a bit surreal, but witnessing his friend, usually so calm and collected, turning into a crying pile of helplessness… That left him shaken. Still stroking Seb’s back, Jim started to hum Irish songs his mother used to sing to him when he was younger.

Sebastian let out a heavy sigh; he was much calmer now.

‘Sleep, Sebby,’ Jim whispered, his hand constantly travelling up and down the blond’s back, ‘I’ll be here, just next to you.’

 _I don’t want to sleep,_ Seb whined, _I’m gonna have n-nightmares…_ he swallowed loudly.

‘It’s fine,’ James said reassuringly, ‘We can just lie here. Just don’t cry,’ he lent forward a bit and kissed the blond on the cheek.

Sebastian sniffled.

‘Sebby,’ the smaller man breathed out, brushing his nose against Seb’s.

 _Don’t ever hurt yourself…_ Seb said finally; he sounded almost normal. _Please…_

Jim looked at him, surprised. Sebastian had his serious face on, but James could see that he was blinking the tears away.

‘I won’t,’ he whispered and let Seb hug him tightly for the rest of the night.


End file.
